Deep Inside..

First of all, this just further proves that my brain doesnt start fully functioning until the wee hours of the night.
But anyways...

Whether it be with my friends bumping in the car to get rich quick schemes, or by myself trying to figure out how to mend a broken heart, music will always be my passion and TRUE love.
To some people music is a constant sound, they hear it all as one. But if you can learn to disect songs and listen closely to the white noise that most people dont hear, you can enter a whole new universe. (I wish Icould pour my true feelings and words out, but they are so in depth about this topic that i can't catch up to myself. Anyways.. I'll keep trying as best as I can.)

If you jump outside of this Top 20 Hits and Billboard Top 100 era, you can find music that deepens you. Music that truly takes you over and that you can really relate to. There's nothing better than a song that you can connect with to the fullest. Every lyric is exactly how you see it, exactly how it is or was, and exactly what you wish you could say. The way you percieve life, and the way you see the world can so easily be reflected through your music decisions. Each song has its own idea, and for an musician to be able to tell a story using metaphors, similies, and many other vivid ear catching techniques is comparative to an artist simply letting his brush flow and ending up with a master piece. I bow down to every person out there who can play any musical instrument. To me, it's like a second voice. The things you wish you really could say but cant find the words to. Every second of every song is crafted to exactness in hope that you connect with the artist just like you would a favorite picture. Words could never explain the over coming feeling you get when a song changes your whole outlook and opens your eyes just enough for you to think twice. Has music ever brought tears to your eyes? Is there that one memory that you always go back to every time you hear THAT song? Can the sound bring back senses and remind you of the smell of the rain or the taste of her lips? If so, then music has hit you in a similar way it has me.

Growing up I was always attached to music. It ruled my life. Typically what you are listening to is based on whatever mood youre in, but I got to the point where it could also be the other way around. Depending on the feel of the song, my mood could change instantly.. There's not a person in the world that i won't tell to shut-up while a song has me at full ecstasy. Where I'm so into the actual movement that I can't fathom life outside of the lyrics pouring through my brain. Obviously everybody has the most love for what they enjoy the most, but I feel blessed that my love is towards something that most everybody can relate to. It's not about MY favorites or what other people think is good, It's about what you are pulled in to. It's about that one song that you have to play over and over because it's so.... real.

There's music that can make you forget, and there's music that can make you remember.

There's songs for love, and there are songs against it.

All I know is if it wasn't for a few specific artists and sounds, I would have never made it through some of the hardest struggles I've had to deal with. The mistakes I have made and the trials that have come with those choices have all been figured out through in depth thought brought from sound. A mixture of noise that blends so perfectly together that for one moment I can breathe. When you have a mind like mine that never stops clicking, music is the only thing that can settle you down and calm your nerves. I have also found that it can be the key to your depression.. You know the song will hurt you, you know the lyrics are real, and yet you listen to it again because you need something to make you feel what you once believed in. Every aspect of my life is based on this topic, and there won't be a day that you see me where I don't have my iPod and a set of headphones. That's why some call me "The Human Jukebox" (If you dont know, now you know. Oh yeah if you ever wanna duke it out and see who knows more songs hit me up! I'm unstoppable)
What it all comes down to is this...
No matter what the situation, No matter what the circumstance, Music can change it all. You never know when youre going to need to hear THAT song again.. and if you're anything like me it can be at the most spontaneous times. Even if I feel down, and want to beat on myself... I just throw on a little depressing music and I feel... worthy? Deserving? Whatever you wanna call it.

Last but not least, I wanna thank the big man upstairs for blessing me with the ability to be able to express myself through my voice. Singing is the one thing that can make me whole and bring actual focus. It's not about the note, It's not about the measure. It's about the emotion. It's about letting your soul bleed and putting it all out on the line. It's about vulnerability, Shutting your eyes, and letting the music take your voice with it. My attachment to the actual mechanics of music and my natural in depth emotion and desire to show that emotion, when necessary, makes me who I am today, and is exactly the reason why I'm drawn into this subject so much. I've always been somebody who stays to myself, keeps my insecurities inside, and figures things out on my own and that's just one more reason why music has been so life changing.

There will never be a better self-bonding, self-realizing time then when youre zoned and lost in the world that you create. Never let anybody alter the way you see it. Never let anybody tell you how it is. Enter your own sanctuary and allow it to become your home..

Peace and Love

TB

M.O.B.

P.S. I honestly never thought I would miss Madrigals and A Capella this bad, but the fact of the matter is... I'm not the same when I don't sing. I'm in need of a desperate Jam Sesh soon or else I could be done for.

The Goodnight Thoughts

Deep Breath---


Isn't it crazy how late at night, when everything is silent and all others are lost in their dreams, seems to be the time that your mind can run wild the most. Well maybe you don't know what thats like, and if thats the case then lucky you. Some call it anxiety, others call it insomnia. I call it wonder. A high risk of thinking that can broaden curiosity and extend the brain to limits unimagineable. How can even the simplest things become so complex? Why is it that the questions that seem easiest to ask are always the ones that are hardest to come to a conclusion on? Why is it that its so difficult to let go when you know it would benefit you the most? The mind can spin circles and create loops that can't be untangled if you let it. The days where you feel like you are making the biggest break through are usually the ones that crash harder to the ground and theres only one reason for that. Once you realize how well you are doing, and how much better off you have been since, you start thinking back and remembering, and your whole thought process attacks itself right there. Now you are stuck.
For me, I think i hit too many horizons too quickly.
I'm only 18 and I feel like my excessive curiosity forced me to answer too many of lifes questions before i needed to know the answer. Now all I have left is the process of analyzing, over thinking, and worrying. I've come to the conclusion that there's too much on my mind at all times and thats what holds me back from accomplishing the things that are truly most important. Because at the end of the day, I can't really decide what those issues would be because in every situation there are pros and cons. Every decision, whether it be your choice of college or what beverage to drink with breakfast, can be life altering. Maybe a glass of orange juice instead of milk would have changed your life just the smallest fraction enough to help you pass your test? But I guess I'm getting ahead of myself by putting things in that perspective. (Side note: I hate "what ifs..?" because it can be asked about anything, at any time, at any place. My response is usually something along the lines of... "What if Godzilla attacked us right now?" or "What if a meteor came crashing through this building and killed us all?" Both equally as possible as any other outcome if you ask me. Except the whole part about Godzilla being a fictional character..... ANYWAYS!) I guess the only reason I really sat down and typed all of this is because I am truly astonished at the endless lengths to which a persons wonder can go, and how so little can mean so much or the other way around. Heck, its all about how everything is perceived, and to think that every person perceives everything different from one another makes my head wander even more. One day I'm hoping that this spaceship lands and my thought process can be considered somewhat normal, but to say I'm counting on it would be a HUGE over statement and a flat out lie. Im stuck for good, dropped the clutch in 5th gear, No brakes.

But on the other hand....

Ha ha just kidding. :]

Enjoy the cheese children
And think about it...

Peace and Love
TB
M.O.B.

P.S.
What if my green was your red?
P.S.S.
If it doesnt make sense or stuff is out of place...
thats because i dont think before i type. ;)

I'll Go

While listening to a song about ten minutes ago in my car with my buddy Matthew Brunner I had an epiphany. More or less. I guess you would call it a... connection.
The song is called I'll Go. The concept of the song is simple, at first.
"What you need I'll go and get it"
The line explains itself, and gives you a vivid image of the lengths to which you would truly go for a person that you truly cared about. Then when all is said and done, to be able to tell that person that you understand if you must "go", literally, because that person deserves more, is true love at its finest. To be able to stand up to the fact that you love this person enough to rather have them be happy without you, then you be happy with them and bring her down is something that can kill a person. It takes a lot of strength to recognize that you aren't good enough. It takes a lot of heart to know that every special experience you shared with that person is now nothing. To know that there's somebody else in your shoes getting to see her smile everyday. A new person, taking the one thing you thought was real. Jealousy, fear, and rage are tearing at your soul everyday and yet you stand strong because you know that she's better. Every moment and memory you thought was real, must not be. Every connection you thought you had with that person meant less to them. Every time you noticed her, every compliment, every touch, every kiss meant less.
And in the end... There's nobody to take it out on but yourself. You were the one who believed. You were the one connecting by yourself, an attachment of some sort. You are the one who is misunderstood. I praise every person who can stand up to the words "it just must have been different for me..." and can turn around and say...
"For you I'll Go. But if i dont come back, Girl your love was worth it. Thats the one thing i know"
Bringing me to one of my favorite quotes that came about one day....
"Never believe and you'll never be let down"- Tyler Brown
How can hope be shot if there is none? How can a heart be broken if its never handed over? How can love end if it never begins?
Hope you guys find it. Cuz its out there for everybody.
There's just an odd amount of guys on this Earth and I can proudly say that I'm the odd one out.
Loneliness isn't a let down. Or a self-esteem breaker. It's set in stone and once thats realized, things go as they will. With no care, desire, or drive. If it must, then it shall. May be harder for one, but at least the other can breathe. I'm here to inform and warn, not scare and lecture. Time is the only thing that works for and against you..


Peace and Love
TB
M.O.B.

Let's Take A Shot..

I figured its only necessary that i speak of myself in my first blog ever.
On that note, let's begin...
The name as you well know is Tyler Brown. :] I'm 18 years old, pushing 19 soon. Graduated from Jordan High School last year. OhNine Baaby! Played football, and love to play all other sports in my spare time.
Now on to the good stuff.
If you already know me, you know that I'm filled with flaws. Although my flaws are very different from the average things you would think someone of my age and stature would have. And these flaws are also considered positive attributes to some. Love me or hate me I will always be the anxious, over thinking, often lecturing Tyler Brown. My infedelities have brought me to a new horizon within the last year and a half or so and since that one day, my life has flipped a whole 180. I've opened up to a whole new world and realized that life is about many different things. Most of which are not only things that I was never taught or brought up to believe, but its the exact opposite of those mannerisms. Life can twist and turn in so many different directions at once that you cant hold on and its easy to get lost, but its those never ending, aimless journeys that teach you the most. Life isn't about you being happy, or working towards a feeling of pleasure for yourself. It's about making the rest of the world happy. It's about pleasing the people around you so that contention is lost and the flow is not broken. It's about truly caring for every single person around you because at the end of the day they are just as much of a person as you are, and their problems are the biggest problems in the world to them. Just like yours are to you. And if you can truly master this art, your own happiness will soon come after.
Our whole generation has been based on success and how far you have come and how far you will go.
But theres the few of us who know the truths. We are young. We have forever to become a success, right now is about the trip. Because the sooner you reach your destination, the sooner the vacation ends. If the happiness you search for is found through luxury and success then please, be happy. It's better for all of us. All I know is I'll be searching longer and harder for a "success" that matters. And I'll realize what that something is when the time comes.
Plus, I'm gonna be rich. :]

Peace and Love
T.B.
M.O.B.

P.S. Thats my only picture. Sorry. Cuute tho riight? :]