The Goodnight Thoughts

Deep Breath---


Isn't it crazy how late at night, when everything is silent and all others are lost in their dreams, seems to be the time that your mind can run wild the most. Well maybe you don't know what thats like, and if thats the case then lucky you. Some call it anxiety, others call it insomnia. I call it wonder. A high risk of thinking that can broaden curiosity and extend the brain to limits unimagineable. How can even the simplest things become so complex? Why is it that the questions that seem easiest to ask are always the ones that are hardest to come to a conclusion on? Why is it that its so difficult to let go when you know it would benefit you the most? The mind can spin circles and create loops that can't be untangled if you let it. The days where you feel like you are making the biggest break through are usually the ones that crash harder to the ground and theres only one reason for that. Once you realize how well you are doing, and how much better off you have been since, you start thinking back and remembering, and your whole thought process attacks itself right there. Now you are stuck.
For me, I think i hit too many horizons too quickly.
I'm only 18 and I feel like my excessive curiosity forced me to answer too many of lifes questions before i needed to know the answer. Now all I have left is the process of analyzing, over thinking, and worrying. I've come to the conclusion that there's too much on my mind at all times and thats what holds me back from accomplishing the things that are truly most important. Because at the end of the day, I can't really decide what those issues would be because in every situation there are pros and cons. Every decision, whether it be your choice of college or what beverage to drink with breakfast, can be life altering. Maybe a glass of orange juice instead of milk would have changed your life just the smallest fraction enough to help you pass your test? But I guess I'm getting ahead of myself by putting things in that perspective. (Side note: I hate "what ifs..?" because it can be asked about anything, at any time, at any place. My response is usually something along the lines of... "What if Godzilla attacked us right now?" or "What if a meteor came crashing through this building and killed us all?" Both equally as possible as any other outcome if you ask me. Except the whole part about Godzilla being a fictional character..... ANYWAYS!) I guess the only reason I really sat down and typed all of this is because I am truly astonished at the endless lengths to which a persons wonder can go, and how so little can mean so much or the other way around. Heck, its all about how everything is perceived, and to think that every person perceives everything different from one another makes my head wander even more. One day I'm hoping that this spaceship lands and my thought process can be considered somewhat normal, but to say I'm counting on it would be a HUGE over statement and a flat out lie. Im stuck for good, dropped the clutch in 5th gear, No brakes.

But on the other hand....

Ha ha just kidding. :]

Enjoy the cheese children
And think about it...

Peace and Love
TB
M.O.B.

P.S.
What if my green was your red?
P.S.S.
If it doesnt make sense or stuff is out of place...
thats because i dont think before i type. ;)